Divorce is a very serious procedure and nobody should get through it alone. I need advices for my divorce Find a community of support. “I don’t mean a self-help group. Rather, find 1 or 2 friends who you can talk to about your feelings, and who will check in on you. DO NOT talk to married people. They won’t understand what you’re going through and will unintentionally make you feel worse. Also, stay away from judgmental people. Formerly divorced friends were my best supporters during this time.”
If you are currently using a desk calendar or day planner, include your divorce events. You will need to track meetings with your lawyer and especially court deadlines. It may be helpful to also keep track of discussions with your spouse. A divorce calendar may be used as evidence in your case when your spouse did not keep an appointment, or violated an agreement or court order in some fashion. Visitation dates with children need to be written down. You will also want to keep track of appointments with your children’s teachers, doctors, coaches, and tutors. This may become evidence of your participation in your children’s lives in your divorce.
The best divorce advice I have for others going through a difficult divorce is to find a reliable support system. What I mean by that is, the divorce litigant should have a reliable friend, family member, awesome therapist, or a divorce group they can count on to talk to about the divorce and the experience. This is extremely important because divorce litigants can foolishly squander thousands of dollars either attempting to utilize the judicial system as retaliation against their spouse or exploiting their attorney as a therapist rather than for legitimate legal advice. At the cost of accumulating thousands of dollars in unnecessary legal fees and avoidable headaches, litigants can easily mitigate mistakes like these simply by voicing their frustration and feelings through therapeutic means. Talking it out will help the litigant focus on the real issues, preventing hurt feelings, sorrowful emotions, and resentment from getting in the way of resolving the divorce matter quickly and fairly.
Mediation also provides divorcing couples a lot of flexibility, in terms of making their own decisions about what works best for their family, compared with the traditional adversarial legal process, which involves a court trial where a judge makes all the decisions. Mediation, however, is not appropriate for all couples. For example, if one spouse is hiding assets or income, and refuses to come clean, you may have to head to court where a judge can order your spouse to comply. Or, if one spouse is unwilling to compromise, mediation probably won’t work.
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